Do You Know Your Apples And Pears? The Hilarious UK Slang Quiz

If you're described as "dressed up like a dog's dinner", what are they saying?

You like a total sight.

You look good enough to eat.

You've had the style consultants in.

You're ready to go out for a meal.

You're out on the lash with your mates. What on earth are you doing and who are you with?

Singing songs with some family members

On a big drinking session with your best friends

Dancing with a group of strangers

Listening to thrash metal with a bunch of students

"You nicked that, didn't you?" they asked. How lovely. What does that mean, then?

They're suggesting you stole it.

They're suggesting you've made a dent in it.

They're suggested you used it without asking.

They're suggesting you've borrowed something.

Your brother is talking a load of old "codswallop." What is he talking?

He's providing important information you must listen to.

He's bad-mouthing a fish.

He's talking utter nonsense.

He's asking for fish and chips.

What is someone giving you if they're giving you "dosh?"

They're giving you money.

They're passing on some bad news.

They're trying to convince you with codswallop.

They've just hit you.

My English friend said that they're "cheesed off". What the hell does that mean?

They've eaten too much cheese.

They're feeling sick.

They're off their dairy products altogether.

They're fed up.

What would you buy at an "off-licence"?

Bread

Meat

Liquor

Cheese

If you're "skint," what's happening?

You're running away.

You're in luck.

You have no money.

You're doing a dance.

What type of activity are you engaging in if you're snogging.

You're kissing passionately

You're stealing something from a shop

You're fighting

You're cheating.

"You're well dodgy, mate." What are they saying?

You're of questionable character.

You're a brilliant geezer.

You're reliable.

You've fallen off the ugly tree and hit each branch on the way down.

What on earth is a "gogglebox?"

A computer

Your television

It's a search engine window.

It's the box in which you store your spectacles.

Someone's offered you "plonk". What is it, and should you accept it?

It's cheapo wine. It's not gonna kill you.

It's unhealthy food. It might kill you (eventually).

They're offering something that should only be presented behind closed doors.

It's meat that has been well-cooked.

You "give a toss." What does that mean?

It means you care.

It's a move in snooker.

You're staying out late.

You're joking about.

You're experiencing a bit of "argy-bargy." What's happening?

You're having a conversation.

You're arguing.

You're engaging in sexual comings and goings.

You're drunk.

If someone tells you that you're "talking rubbish, mate," what do they mean?

That's your telling them some excellent news.

That whatever you're saying is interesting.

That you're spouting nonsense.

That you're trying to flirt with them.

If something is "naff", what is it?

It's an automobile

It's expensive

It's someone acting stoopid.

It's awful.

Someone called me a "nutter". Was that good?

Yes. They think you're a diamond geezer.

Yes. They think you're very generous.

Yes. They think you're super-intelligent.

No. They think you're not to be trusted.

"Is it OK if I just kip on your sofa?" Erm - what do you want?

Urinate on it.

Chill out

Eat a pizza with you

Sleep overnight

If a middle class mother boasts that her child has gone to "uni," where have they gone?

Gone to purchase a uniform

They've died (gone back to the universe)

They're playing a sport.

They've gone to university.

You got a good grade in your end-of-term paper. You're proper chuffed. What are you?

You're super-happy.

You're surprised.

You're totally pissed.

You think you could have done better.

What the heck are "bits and bobs" exactly?

A random collection of things

Important information

Kitchen utensils

Gardening equipment

"Are you having a laugh?" What does someone mean if they say this to you?

They mean you're taking the piss.

They think you're super-fun.

They're yelling at you.

They're having a laugh with you.

If you've "lost the plot," what - exactly - have you done?

You're late. You're late. For a very important date.

You're super-bored.

You've gone a bit cray cray.

You've failed to complete a book.

How are you feeling if you're "knackered."

You're feeling sick.

You're upset.

You're exhausted.

You're feeling upbeat.

What is a "numpty?"

It's a fat person.

It's a stupid person.

It's a slow person.

It's someone who causes arguments.

If someone called you a "corker," what would they mean?

They're saying you like a glass of wine or six.

They think you're super-intelligent.

They think you're quite the looker.

They want you to stop drinking.

"That shelf's wonky." OK - is that a compliment?

It's not straight.

It's going to explode.

It's brilliantly fixed.

It's not necessary.

If you're having a "chinwag," what the heck are you doing?

Enjoying a chat

Making out

Dancing to rock music

Disagreeing

You're "earwigging." What are you doing?

You're listening in on someone's conversation.

You're disrupting somebody's trail of thought.

You're wearing a wig that covers your ears.

You're asking for money.

"Can you lend us a quid?" I'm not sure. What is it?

An item of clothing

A delicious treat

A sea creature

A unit of British currency

If you "know your onions," what do you know?

You know your subject.

You're super-talented.

You can recognise any variety of onion.

You're an interesting person.

It's "gone Pete Tong." What's happened.

Something has gone badly.

It's a brilliant EDM record.

It's a song.

It's really boring.

What might you be experiencing if you've got the "collywobbles?"

Euphoria

Nervousness

Hunger

Anger

If you're "skiving off," what are you doing?

You're skipping class.

You're jumping out of a plane.

You're expressing dissatisfaction about something.

You're cheating.

If someone is "all mouth and no trousers," what are they?

They talk the talk, but can't walk the walk.

They're a few shillings short of a pound.

They're wearing no trousers and haven't noticed.

They're missing the point.

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